The Wizard

There is a man that lives under the following philosophies:

- Enjoy the path of success for life is a journey, not a destination

- Life is great, don't let anyone control your destiny

- We must keep moving in a positive direction

- Choose happiness

- Keep your eyes to the sky

- Help someone everyday

John P. Kolb is a man living in retirement in Utah. When I say 'retirement', I mean from the corporate world. He has held positions to include a CEO of a medical facility, the Vice President of Human Resources of Coca-Cola, a personnel director and an Account Executive, to name a few. Mr. Kolb served as a Sergeant in the Marines for five years and has obtained his masters degree in management. But Mr. Kolb, although he had attained respected positions throughout his career, has attained much more than most.

When my sister-in-law Cheryl and I visited Red Mountain Spa, we went on a nighttime adventure called 'An Evening With The Stars', which was hosted by Mr. Kolb. This man allowed the tour group to his house and showed us the most beautiful view of the stars through two high-powered telescopes. He also showed us quite an impressive array of stones he collected through years of rock hunting. During his presentations, what both Cheryl and I noticed the most was the absolute passion Mr. Kolb displayed.

Here was a man, now retired from a successful corporate career, was still excited to live and learn and experience life. He is proud of his kids (check out his son's band website - great bluesy sounds at http://www.klobsong.com/) and loves his wife (whom he fondly refers to as The Lady Of The Red Desert), and keeps busy with an array of activities that includes running Wizard Stones LLC, consulting, teaching finance part time at Dixie State University, teaching Microsoft programs and photography on cruise lines, and showing tourists like myself the magic of the night sky. In addition, for three years Mr. Kolb hosted a radio show in Las Vegas called 'The Thought Of The Day', where he tried to pass on the positive energy to anyone who would listen. I don't know about you, but I'm not that busy with a full time job and a 3 year old!

My point is this: Most of us go through our lives HAVING to do things (i.e. job, bills, taxes, etc) and forget that passion should be our driving factor. Our careers and the other more unpleasant activities of our life can quickly become the overwhelming driving force in our lives. Our work is only supposed to support our family and fun, but not the other way around, right? John Kolb is so passionate about rock hunting and astronomy, and spends his time learning and doing as much as he can in those areas. He's so passionate about those areas that he wants to share his excitement with others. I find myself thinking how it would be fun to do _____ [INSERT INTERESTING ACTIVITY HERE], but I'm so busy with work this week so I settle with 5 minutes of Internet surfing on that activity instead of just DOING it. How much time have I wasted on work stress or worrying about things that I can't control, instead of doing something fun with my family? Why do I choose to work late to try and get 'caught up' on my caseload (I've learned that this concept is an illusion, by the way), when I can come home to my family and plan a fun weekend activity?

My personal philosophy is this: life is what you make of it. If you are unhappy or stressed or display any one of the other myriad of negative emotions over where you are in life, it's because YOU put you there, and YOU are the only one who can change your situation and make it what you want. We should not trade out our passions because of poor time management and inability to prioritize what's truly important to us. Mr. Kolb, thank you for your example of following your passions and living life the way you want to live it.

Life is a journey, not a destination.

Fall Traditions

I enjoy the summer with it's heat and outdoor water-related activities. My husband loathes the heat but I love hanging out in shorts and a t-shirt, soaking up the sun while at the same time enjoying escape into an air-conditioned environment. But I'm not sad to see summer leave because my favorite season follows. Fall just exudes comfort and coziness. It's time to start the fires in the fireplace, smell the rain and feel the crispness of the air in the mornings. The trees are turning and losing leaves. And now it's time to start prepping for the upcoming holidays, which always seem to fly by in a blur toward the end.

The family headed up to Apple Hill today, a Fall favorite my husband and I have always enjoyed. We threw our diets out the window when we enjoyed a Boa Vista apple fritter (but resisted the urge to purchase the frozen apple pie, which continued to call to me as we drove away :'( As we drove up to what my son calls the 'pukin patch', his mouth literally dropped at the sight of endless orange balls. My husband and I hurried to educate him on proper pumpkin patch etiquette (i.e. no throwing, dropping or kicking the pumpkins). He was content with running from pumpkin to pumpkin and touching each one, shouting, 'pukin'! We later took him on a little train ride around a duck pond at El Dorado farms, which he learned how to stand in line and wait your turn (not something he necessarily enjoyed doing but he hung in there).

Last night we hung with our good friends, who are originally from Sweden. They mentioned a tradition their family indulges in at this time of year, which is a warm drink called Glug. I enjoy the virgin glug, which is a sweet combination of sugar, cinnamon, raisin, orange and clove flavors. It's when brandy or other liquor item is added kind of kills the flavor for me. But to each his own! I'm the same way when it comes to Egg Nog - the less added the better.

My family has a rather strange but long standing tradition simply called 'Fred' (yeah, my relatives reading this right now are shaking their head with this one). The original Fred was a (very tacky) laughing Buddha statue purchased by my older cousins at a flea market. Legend tells of this well thought-out purchase was a result of an exorbitant amount of alcohol. Fred was passed from person to person in our family on Christmas Eve. When you saw your name on the strangely large present you knew you were in for a one year stay. When Fred was presented to his new host family, a letter was read aloud detailing his adventures from the past year. Fred was happy, adventurous and a bit of a lush (do we sense a pattern?). He loved to chase women and always seemed to adapt well to his environment. If you became the Fred host for the year, then the rule was Fred must remain in the open at your residence, which excludes any closets or garages. At the end of the year Fred is passed onto another host family. The sad thing was the original Fred was lost along the way, so Fred Jr. emerged to keep on the tradition. Ok, we're weird.

What Fall traditions exist in your world?

The Playground

Whenever my husband and I utter the words "the playground", my almost 3 year old son perks up to the equivalent of a triple latte. Lately we've been using the verbage, "Should we take him to the PG today?", and he instantly started to shout, "I want to go to the PG!". When I asked him what "PG" stood for, he matter-of-factly said, "the playground". So much for abbreviations...

When we took him to the PG on a quite Sunday, I took time to observe how he approached it. Jacob gingerly walked onto one of the play areas, then stood back and watched the other kids for awhile. It didn't look like he was scared to interact with the other kids who were deeply entrenched in make-believe adventures while climbing the ladders and traversing the slides. What I see in my son is a very analytical side, one who likes to watch everything, then inspect it some more in order to figure out how it works for himself (he takes after his Papa). Jacob would then start playing in an area, then stop and watch the kids again. He definitely didn't rush the process of the playground.

Every time we've taken him to a playground, I see similar interactions each time. There usually is an older kid who is leading several other kids on an adventure, a kid not playing well with their sibling, a bully who gets courage when he/she thinks the adults are looking the other direction, and the social kid who likes to make new friends with everyone. I see my son as the observer who studies the interaction before entering the fray.

I think most of us go to a playground (of sorts) everyday. Whether it's at work, the grocery store or at the gym, we as adults deal with other personality types that are often challenging (to say the least). Some people take charge even when their leadership is not welcomed or necessary. Some people will follow the actions of others just to fit in with the group. We have the adult bullies who usually run the intimidation angle, and the socialites who can get along with everyone.

How successful would we all be in life if we occasionally take 'the observer' to heart? My son may be onto something by first studying his peers and not letting himself fall into the surrounding drama without question. Maybe we should take things slower and take time to observe, in order to better understand what we are getting ourselves into. It's everyone's choice as to how they play along with others, and it's good to be versitile with all the situations we get ourselves into. That way we don't end up playing on the lame slide in our PG :)

Holidays Starbucks Style

It's 101 degrees in the Sacramento area, you can still smell the bbq's in the air and the sprinklers are still running in attempt to save dry lawns. It still feels like we're in the middle of summer, but I saw something that always gears me toward the holiday state of mind. I went into a local Starbucks to seek out an iced beverage when I saw it: Pumpkin Spice Latte ("PSL" for the trendy ones). I LOVE the Pumpkin Spice Latte and look forward to it each year. Today, however, I could not bring myself to begin the Fall tradition yet. An iced PSL just didn't seem right. The lure of this particular latte to me is to provide a warm-up in a cozy cup, while tasting what I feel are 'flavors of the season' (pumpkin and nutmeg). My friend Gail and I were just talking about the upcoming event and figured September was the month for our drink to return. Lets face it, certain foods fall into the comfort category and provide our senses with various moments in our lives. When I have this pumpkin latte, I feel myself prepping for the chilly weather and upcoming holiday season. I have the feeling I will have my first PSL of the season very soon!

The other Starbucks tradition I fell in love with several years ago (along with my husband) are the Eggnog Latte, which is usually released in November. This drink is a very fond one of mine, taking me back to early dates with Ken. Now when you are in the early dating stages, we did as many couples did, being we went to movies, bookstores and dinners together. But my favorite part included what we called our 'parking lot dates'. Just to spend some time together, we'd buy a couple of Eggnog Lattes, sit on a bench outside the Starbucks in December (or better yet inside the car with the heater on during a chilly night) and talk about life while gazing onto the parking lot in front of us. May not sound like it, but it was a very romantic way to get to know each other. I guess as you're falling in love, ANYTHING can become a romantic setting. Even sharing a couple of cups of coffee over blacktop:)

If anyone wants to comment - what is your favorite comfort food/drink that 'takes you back'?

Food For Thought

"The master in the art of living makes little distinction between work and play, labor and leisure, mind and body, education and recreation, love and religion. The master hardly knows which is which. The master simply pursues the vision of excellence in whatever there is to do, leaving others to decide whether it is work or play. To the master it is like always doing both."

- This quote came from an amazing man named John P. Kolb, whom I was fortunate enough to meet in Utah. More to come on his story!

Maintaining Success is Tough

About a month ago I got a 2 day flu. Unfortunately it was accompanied by a migraine - first one in over a year. My husband took me to the local Med 7, which I used to frequent regularly when the migraines were a consistent part of my life. As I laid on the table in the exam room trying to will away the nausea and wait for the doctor, I thought how much I really DIDN'T miss this scenario. I truly believe the migraines stopped when I had established a consistent cardio routine. A few years ago, I was lethargic but yearning to be active. It took a long time to achieve my goals, but it finally happened. Now, honestly, I'm a bit phobic of losing it. I don't want to go back to where I was with my health and lifestyle, but I know that it can happen if I get too lax.

When I worked for the drug rehab program, several participants would come to class frightened, telling me they had a dream last night that they used (drugs), which was so real that they were truly afraid they would get a positive drug test the next day. I learned that's a normal reaction in recovery, to know you've come so far but still afraid that you could instantly lose it again. I believe losing weight and learning how to change your lifestyle is quite similar to recovering from drug or any other all encompasing addiction. I thought about the 'recovery dream' when I had one. I was dreaming I was looking at myself in a mirror. My reflection showed me with all the weight back on. I looked at myself directly and I was thin, but back in the mirror I was heavy. I thought to myself, "I wonder if everyone else sees me this way? But this isn't how I really am anymore". I woke up and immediately checked myself out in a (real) mirror - just in case.

I'm very focused on making it to the gym at least 2-3 times a week and try to even out my calories each week. If I eat a lot of 'not so good' things on the weekend, I need to lower my calories and get really strict for a few days during the next week to even my weight out again. I learned I can gain weight very fast, and if I want to maintain, I need to remain dilligent and disciplined. I enjoy my healthier lifestyle now and can't imagine why I wasted so much time in letting myself be unhealthy. I think human nature is that we will always opt to take the path of least resistance , so for any major lifestyle change, it can be a battle at times. But so worth it.

Appreciate The 'Function' In Your Life

Yes, I'm back from the blogger grave. My goal is to keep my posting up to date, but life and stuff seem to get in the way at times, so bear with me.

From time to time I will post an experience I have at work and I'd love to hear your thoughts. As a probation officer working with juvenile offenders and their families, I see many examples of what most would consider dysfunction within the family. We all have various levels of dysfunction within our lives but sometimes I see situations that could win the argument for mandatory parent licensing. That's my extreme view on the subject for sure. But know, there are kids out there (more than you'd think unfortunately) that go through way too much from people who shouldn't have the title of 'parent'.

An example is the 16 year old boy on my caseload who has substance abuse issues, steals money from his family and has anger / emotional issues. He's actually a pretty nice kid, until the proverbial trigger gets pulled. One day this kids father calls me and said his son is out of control and needs to be booked into the Juvenile Hall immediately. Ooookeeeey, need a bit more information. So the dad tells me that his son is blaming Dad for taking his marijuana (hmmmmm), and the kid is tearing the house apart looking for it. Now, another caveat that I should mention is the dad is currently going through a CPS investigation due to the fact he hit his son during an argument recently. So I tell dad we can't just take his son out of his home without an extreme reason. The dad, who just met with a CPS investigator earlier that day and has a handle on the lingo, says to me, "So, if I were to beat the shit out of my son, wouldn't that create an unsafe environment that would affect his placement?" I told the dad that would affect his placement when he goes to jail. This jack-ass just laughs and tells me he wouldn't really do it, but is "almost to that point". A few weeks later the kid was at home lying on his bed when the dad came into his room and punched a hole in the wall above the kid's head during an argument. The dad told the kid, "This could be you", and apparently hit the wall and not the kid because he knew that jail cell was waiting for him. The kid went to live with his mom after that, but was back at his dad's after a few weeks when mom checked herself into a rehab for alcoholism. We'll see how things go this time around for the poor kid.

I'm love movie quotes, so let me drop one that fits this situation to a 'T':

"...You need a license to buy a dog or drive a car. Hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reamin' asshole be your father."
- Keanu Reeves in 'Parenthood'

We must appreciate the good functional components in our lives and not dwell on the bad. Because no matter how bad our lives seem to get, always remember there are those out there not so fortunate and live life with dysfunction as the norm.