NaNo DONE!!!

After 28 days of concentrated (and often mindless) plot and character development, backdrop creation, describing images and trying to tie everything together by the November 30th deadline, I finally came to the end of my creation called the 50,000 word novel. Whew!

There were days that were exciting when the story seemed to write itself, while others were painful while plodding through what I call 'filler' dialog that moves the plot from one exciting point to the next one. I oftentimes fell asleep at night trying to mentally work out which character was going to do what to whom and why. I found a difficult thing was to keep track of everything going on in the story and had to resort to an outline book that I could carry in my purse to jot down ideas, character names and record story items that I would forget 50 pages later. No matter, because I was able to force myself to keep working toward this insurmountable goal.

During the last few paragraphs, I constantly clicked 'word count' and stressed over tying the story, characters and images into what I had envisioned I could. I sprinted out the last bit of it ending two days early and earning the ability to rejoin my family back in the non-fictional world. It will probably take at least a week (in combination with an Ibuprofen-based product) to work out all the kinks in my neck and hands from all the intent typing I spent on my laptop. But I emerged victorious, and had a very unedited throw-together 50,000 word novel to show for a crazy month of literary exploration. Final word count: 50,930; total number of pages: 180.

At this point I'm not making any commitments for writing NaNo next year, but who knows. It was a fun challenge and I feel good about finishing. Now time to start the Christmas shopping :)

NaNoWriMo??!!

I have undertaken an endeavor that I've been putting off for years. The notion has always been an intriguing one, but I've always had a million and one excuses as to why I couldn't make the attempt. What is NaNoWriMo, do you ask? It's not a freaky dance, nor an exotic cooking style, nor a board game. NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month and takes place every November. The NaNo creators (you can find them at www.nanowrimo.org) challenge anyone to write a 50,000 word novel in one month. Although 50,000 words doesn't make a relatively large novel, it does make a great challenge to create a fictional novel from start to finish in a 30 day period.

NaNo is all about output. I've started many stories in the past I've had great hopes of turning into an actual novel one day, but Alas, they remain even now in the short story category because my steam runs out too quickly. One thing the NaNo people reiterate multiple times is when you do this, you WILL write a bunch of crap (hey, at least they're honest). But what this can do for you as a writer is force you to write and write and write, which helps negate the novel burn-out factor many of us experience with writing such a large story.

What helps people succeed in this challenge which doesn't occur for most of us non-employed novelists is one thing: a deadline. It's like most any other challenge (physical or mental) - when you consider doing something not easy, it's intriguing, but the excuse monster appears to say 'you can't accomplish that', 'you don't have time to do that', 'you don't have the ability to accomplish that'. Common people - enough with the negative excuses already!!!

We all waste so much time making excuses as to why we can't succeed in many things: weight loss (been there), remaining in a job we hate (been there), not completing schooling we have 'always' wanted to do (been there), not traveling to places we've always wanted to go (been there), and so much more. I digress...back to NaNoWRiMo, it's a challenge to write 50,000 words and you "win" if you complete it by the November 30th deadline. My sister-in-law has done it 3 times, numerous people complete it every year, and I believe the NaNoWriMo currently has over 115,000 people registered on their website to give it a try. I agree that November, with the holiday season looming, makes for an awful month for such an endeavor. But what the heck, we only live once, right?!

Gotta get back to writing. Word count is currently 22,629 and growing...

We All Need Our Bunco Night

I have no problem with my husband meeting his friend after work once in awhile. The two get to vent about their jobs, discuss the history of classic rock bands and solve the most complex scientific problems, all over a beer at the local bar. My husband gets to do the male bonding thing and reconnect with his friend, all while getting some much needed stress relief during his own time.

I think that's so important for everyone to get their own time. Sounds harsh, but parents sometimes need their time away from kids, spouses need time away from each other, and EVERYONE needs time away from work. Its time to recharge your batteries and let yourself be you. You need to take a little time and drop the labels of spouse, student, parent, co-worker, etc and find that person you rarely let out.

I've been involved in a monthly Bunco group for a few months now and it's great. I didn't realize how nice it was to just get around other women in a social environment. Bunco is a fun little dice game which involves 20 players and, since everyone has a buy-in amount, you get a chance to win some money at the end of the night. The evening starts with a pot-luck and socializing. Many of these women don't see each other more than the once a month Bunco night, so it's a great time to catch up. But when the bell rings, the game's on! There are constant screams of 'Bunco' or 'Traveling' (you just have to be there). During the middle of the game we stop for a dessert break and more socializing, then end with the second half of the game playing and the final prize distribution to the winners of the night. It's a time to get loud and have fun, even if it's not in your personality normally.

Now, I'm not saying everyone should go off with their friend(s) and engage in an activity in order to get some 'me' time. So do what's fun for you - join a club, a bowling league, a mom's group, go out with a friend for a beer (or other alcoholic or coffee based drink of your choice), or even go for a bike ride or walk by yourself. It's different for everyone, but it's JUST AS IMPORTANT for everyone as well. We all need time away from our normal lives at times to recharge and find ourselves. Without it, we get into the same rut everyone falls into at times. So don't feel guilty about it - escape on your own once in awhile. We all need our Bunco night, right?

The Wizard

There is a man that lives under the following philosophies:

- Enjoy the path of success for life is a journey, not a destination

- Life is great, don't let anyone control your destiny

- We must keep moving in a positive direction

- Choose happiness

- Keep your eyes to the sky

- Help someone everyday

John P. Kolb is a man living in retirement in Utah. When I say 'retirement', I mean from the corporate world. He has held positions to include a CEO of a medical facility, the Vice President of Human Resources of Coca-Cola, a personnel director and an Account Executive, to name a few. Mr. Kolb served as a Sergeant in the Marines for five years and has obtained his masters degree in management. But Mr. Kolb, although he had attained respected positions throughout his career, has attained much more than most.

When my sister-in-law Cheryl and I visited Red Mountain Spa, we went on a nighttime adventure called 'An Evening With The Stars', which was hosted by Mr. Kolb. This man allowed the tour group to his house and showed us the most beautiful view of the stars through two high-powered telescopes. He also showed us quite an impressive array of stones he collected through years of rock hunting. During his presentations, what both Cheryl and I noticed the most was the absolute passion Mr. Kolb displayed.

Here was a man, now retired from a successful corporate career, was still excited to live and learn and experience life. He is proud of his kids (check out his son's band website - great bluesy sounds at http://www.klobsong.com/) and loves his wife (whom he fondly refers to as The Lady Of The Red Desert), and keeps busy with an array of activities that includes running Wizard Stones LLC, consulting, teaching finance part time at Dixie State University, teaching Microsoft programs and photography on cruise lines, and showing tourists like myself the magic of the night sky. In addition, for three years Mr. Kolb hosted a radio show in Las Vegas called 'The Thought Of The Day', where he tried to pass on the positive energy to anyone who would listen. I don't know about you, but I'm not that busy with a full time job and a 3 year old!

My point is this: Most of us go through our lives HAVING to do things (i.e. job, bills, taxes, etc) and forget that passion should be our driving factor. Our careers and the other more unpleasant activities of our life can quickly become the overwhelming driving force in our lives. Our work is only supposed to support our family and fun, but not the other way around, right? John Kolb is so passionate about rock hunting and astronomy, and spends his time learning and doing as much as he can in those areas. He's so passionate about those areas that he wants to share his excitement with others. I find myself thinking how it would be fun to do _____ [INSERT INTERESTING ACTIVITY HERE], but I'm so busy with work this week so I settle with 5 minutes of Internet surfing on that activity instead of just DOING it. How much time have I wasted on work stress or worrying about things that I can't control, instead of doing something fun with my family? Why do I choose to work late to try and get 'caught up' on my caseload (I've learned that this concept is an illusion, by the way), when I can come home to my family and plan a fun weekend activity?

My personal philosophy is this: life is what you make of it. If you are unhappy or stressed or display any one of the other myriad of negative emotions over where you are in life, it's because YOU put you there, and YOU are the only one who can change your situation and make it what you want. We should not trade out our passions because of poor time management and inability to prioritize what's truly important to us. Mr. Kolb, thank you for your example of following your passions and living life the way you want to live it.

Life is a journey, not a destination.

Fall Traditions

I enjoy the summer with it's heat and outdoor water-related activities. My husband loathes the heat but I love hanging out in shorts and a t-shirt, soaking up the sun while at the same time enjoying escape into an air-conditioned environment. But I'm not sad to see summer leave because my favorite season follows. Fall just exudes comfort and coziness. It's time to start the fires in the fireplace, smell the rain and feel the crispness of the air in the mornings. The trees are turning and losing leaves. And now it's time to start prepping for the upcoming holidays, which always seem to fly by in a blur toward the end.

The family headed up to Apple Hill today, a Fall favorite my husband and I have always enjoyed. We threw our diets out the window when we enjoyed a Boa Vista apple fritter (but resisted the urge to purchase the frozen apple pie, which continued to call to me as we drove away :'( As we drove up to what my son calls the 'pukin patch', his mouth literally dropped at the sight of endless orange balls. My husband and I hurried to educate him on proper pumpkin patch etiquette (i.e. no throwing, dropping or kicking the pumpkins). He was content with running from pumpkin to pumpkin and touching each one, shouting, 'pukin'! We later took him on a little train ride around a duck pond at El Dorado farms, which he learned how to stand in line and wait your turn (not something he necessarily enjoyed doing but he hung in there).

Last night we hung with our good friends, who are originally from Sweden. They mentioned a tradition their family indulges in at this time of year, which is a warm drink called Glug. I enjoy the virgin glug, which is a sweet combination of sugar, cinnamon, raisin, orange and clove flavors. It's when brandy or other liquor item is added kind of kills the flavor for me. But to each his own! I'm the same way when it comes to Egg Nog - the less added the better.

My family has a rather strange but long standing tradition simply called 'Fred' (yeah, my relatives reading this right now are shaking their head with this one). The original Fred was a (very tacky) laughing Buddha statue purchased by my older cousins at a flea market. Legend tells of this well thought-out purchase was a result of an exorbitant amount of alcohol. Fred was passed from person to person in our family on Christmas Eve. When you saw your name on the strangely large present you knew you were in for a one year stay. When Fred was presented to his new host family, a letter was read aloud detailing his adventures from the past year. Fred was happy, adventurous and a bit of a lush (do we sense a pattern?). He loved to chase women and always seemed to adapt well to his environment. If you became the Fred host for the year, then the rule was Fred must remain in the open at your residence, which excludes any closets or garages. At the end of the year Fred is passed onto another host family. The sad thing was the original Fred was lost along the way, so Fred Jr. emerged to keep on the tradition. Ok, we're weird.

What Fall traditions exist in your world?

The Playground

Whenever my husband and I utter the words "the playground", my almost 3 year old son perks up to the equivalent of a triple latte. Lately we've been using the verbage, "Should we take him to the PG today?", and he instantly started to shout, "I want to go to the PG!". When I asked him what "PG" stood for, he matter-of-factly said, "the playground". So much for abbreviations...

When we took him to the PG on a quite Sunday, I took time to observe how he approached it. Jacob gingerly walked onto one of the play areas, then stood back and watched the other kids for awhile. It didn't look like he was scared to interact with the other kids who were deeply entrenched in make-believe adventures while climbing the ladders and traversing the slides. What I see in my son is a very analytical side, one who likes to watch everything, then inspect it some more in order to figure out how it works for himself (he takes after his Papa). Jacob would then start playing in an area, then stop and watch the kids again. He definitely didn't rush the process of the playground.

Every time we've taken him to a playground, I see similar interactions each time. There usually is an older kid who is leading several other kids on an adventure, a kid not playing well with their sibling, a bully who gets courage when he/she thinks the adults are looking the other direction, and the social kid who likes to make new friends with everyone. I see my son as the observer who studies the interaction before entering the fray.

I think most of us go to a playground (of sorts) everyday. Whether it's at work, the grocery store or at the gym, we as adults deal with other personality types that are often challenging (to say the least). Some people take charge even when their leadership is not welcomed or necessary. Some people will follow the actions of others just to fit in with the group. We have the adult bullies who usually run the intimidation angle, and the socialites who can get along with everyone.

How successful would we all be in life if we occasionally take 'the observer' to heart? My son may be onto something by first studying his peers and not letting himself fall into the surrounding drama without question. Maybe we should take things slower and take time to observe, in order to better understand what we are getting ourselves into. It's everyone's choice as to how they play along with others, and it's good to be versitile with all the situations we get ourselves into. That way we don't end up playing on the lame slide in our PG :)

Holidays Starbucks Style

It's 101 degrees in the Sacramento area, you can still smell the bbq's in the air and the sprinklers are still running in attempt to save dry lawns. It still feels like we're in the middle of summer, but I saw something that always gears me toward the holiday state of mind. I went into a local Starbucks to seek out an iced beverage when I saw it: Pumpkin Spice Latte ("PSL" for the trendy ones). I LOVE the Pumpkin Spice Latte and look forward to it each year. Today, however, I could not bring myself to begin the Fall tradition yet. An iced PSL just didn't seem right. The lure of this particular latte to me is to provide a warm-up in a cozy cup, while tasting what I feel are 'flavors of the season' (pumpkin and nutmeg). My friend Gail and I were just talking about the upcoming event and figured September was the month for our drink to return. Lets face it, certain foods fall into the comfort category and provide our senses with various moments in our lives. When I have this pumpkin latte, I feel myself prepping for the chilly weather and upcoming holiday season. I have the feeling I will have my first PSL of the season very soon!

The other Starbucks tradition I fell in love with several years ago (along with my husband) are the Eggnog Latte, which is usually released in November. This drink is a very fond one of mine, taking me back to early dates with Ken. Now when you are in the early dating stages, we did as many couples did, being we went to movies, bookstores and dinners together. But my favorite part included what we called our 'parking lot dates'. Just to spend some time together, we'd buy a couple of Eggnog Lattes, sit on a bench outside the Starbucks in December (or better yet inside the car with the heater on during a chilly night) and talk about life while gazing onto the parking lot in front of us. May not sound like it, but it was a very romantic way to get to know each other. I guess as you're falling in love, ANYTHING can become a romantic setting. Even sharing a couple of cups of coffee over blacktop:)

If anyone wants to comment - what is your favorite comfort food/drink that 'takes you back'?

Food For Thought

"The master in the art of living makes little distinction between work and play, labor and leisure, mind and body, education and recreation, love and religion. The master hardly knows which is which. The master simply pursues the vision of excellence in whatever there is to do, leaving others to decide whether it is work or play. To the master it is like always doing both."

- This quote came from an amazing man named John P. Kolb, whom I was fortunate enough to meet in Utah. More to come on his story!

Maintaining Success is Tough

About a month ago I got a 2 day flu. Unfortunately it was accompanied by a migraine - first one in over a year. My husband took me to the local Med 7, which I used to frequent regularly when the migraines were a consistent part of my life. As I laid on the table in the exam room trying to will away the nausea and wait for the doctor, I thought how much I really DIDN'T miss this scenario. I truly believe the migraines stopped when I had established a consistent cardio routine. A few years ago, I was lethargic but yearning to be active. It took a long time to achieve my goals, but it finally happened. Now, honestly, I'm a bit phobic of losing it. I don't want to go back to where I was with my health and lifestyle, but I know that it can happen if I get too lax.

When I worked for the drug rehab program, several participants would come to class frightened, telling me they had a dream last night that they used (drugs), which was so real that they were truly afraid they would get a positive drug test the next day. I learned that's a normal reaction in recovery, to know you've come so far but still afraid that you could instantly lose it again. I believe losing weight and learning how to change your lifestyle is quite similar to recovering from drug or any other all encompasing addiction. I thought about the 'recovery dream' when I had one. I was dreaming I was looking at myself in a mirror. My reflection showed me with all the weight back on. I looked at myself directly and I was thin, but back in the mirror I was heavy. I thought to myself, "I wonder if everyone else sees me this way? But this isn't how I really am anymore". I woke up and immediately checked myself out in a (real) mirror - just in case.

I'm very focused on making it to the gym at least 2-3 times a week and try to even out my calories each week. If I eat a lot of 'not so good' things on the weekend, I need to lower my calories and get really strict for a few days during the next week to even my weight out again. I learned I can gain weight very fast, and if I want to maintain, I need to remain dilligent and disciplined. I enjoy my healthier lifestyle now and can't imagine why I wasted so much time in letting myself be unhealthy. I think human nature is that we will always opt to take the path of least resistance , so for any major lifestyle change, it can be a battle at times. But so worth it.

Appreciate The 'Function' In Your Life

Yes, I'm back from the blogger grave. My goal is to keep my posting up to date, but life and stuff seem to get in the way at times, so bear with me.

From time to time I will post an experience I have at work and I'd love to hear your thoughts. As a probation officer working with juvenile offenders and their families, I see many examples of what most would consider dysfunction within the family. We all have various levels of dysfunction within our lives but sometimes I see situations that could win the argument for mandatory parent licensing. That's my extreme view on the subject for sure. But know, there are kids out there (more than you'd think unfortunately) that go through way too much from people who shouldn't have the title of 'parent'.

An example is the 16 year old boy on my caseload who has substance abuse issues, steals money from his family and has anger / emotional issues. He's actually a pretty nice kid, until the proverbial trigger gets pulled. One day this kids father calls me and said his son is out of control and needs to be booked into the Juvenile Hall immediately. Ooookeeeey, need a bit more information. So the dad tells me that his son is blaming Dad for taking his marijuana (hmmmmm), and the kid is tearing the house apart looking for it. Now, another caveat that I should mention is the dad is currently going through a CPS investigation due to the fact he hit his son during an argument recently. So I tell dad we can't just take his son out of his home without an extreme reason. The dad, who just met with a CPS investigator earlier that day and has a handle on the lingo, says to me, "So, if I were to beat the shit out of my son, wouldn't that create an unsafe environment that would affect his placement?" I told the dad that would affect his placement when he goes to jail. This jack-ass just laughs and tells me he wouldn't really do it, but is "almost to that point". A few weeks later the kid was at home lying on his bed when the dad came into his room and punched a hole in the wall above the kid's head during an argument. The dad told the kid, "This could be you", and apparently hit the wall and not the kid because he knew that jail cell was waiting for him. The kid went to live with his mom after that, but was back at his dad's after a few weeks when mom checked herself into a rehab for alcoholism. We'll see how things go this time around for the poor kid.

I'm love movie quotes, so let me drop one that fits this situation to a 'T':

"...You need a license to buy a dog or drive a car. Hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reamin' asshole be your father."
- Keanu Reeves in 'Parenthood'

We must appreciate the good functional components in our lives and not dwell on the bad. Because no matter how bad our lives seem to get, always remember there are those out there not so fortunate and live life with dysfunction as the norm.

Enjoy Your Adventure

My sister-in-law emails me with the idea to escape from the toddlers for a weekend. I'll admit, it didn't take me long to feverishly type my affirmative and pick a date. Cheryl had located a spa-resort in St. George, Utah called Red Mountain Spa. The spa idea was a curious one, since we were on the search for a little zen time to de-stress from jobs and toddler chasing. This particular spa was different than your average pamper you till you drop variety. 3 meals a day at their restaurant was included in the price, as well as a list of daily exercise classes, relaxation classes, and hikes in beautiful Snow Mountain Canyon. They give you a $100 credit toward spa treatments or different outings. They have two pools and hot tubs on the property and an array of hammocks and waterfalls in which to blob by.

The resort was located at the base of beautiful red buttes and surrounded by green sprinkled desert (we were fortunate to arrive before the heat really hit in the summer, so there was quite a bit of greenery around). We got there at lunch time, so Cheryl and I meandered to the Canyon Cafe and enjoyed the lunch buffet. The food at the Cafe is focused toward health - it was all fresh, low in the calories and sodium, and extremely tasty. As we were eating, it was apparent that we were out of our element. People sat at the surrounding tables wearing exercise-style clothing and all had their water bottles with them. We were used to a normal amount of stress when eating in a restaurant when we were attempting to contain our toddlers within their chairs, and hoped their voices would stay below the 8 decibel mark as to not bother other patrons. Here, everyone was pleasant and relaxed (and yes, we noticed, no kids were in the vicinity).

Our first stop was at the Red Mountain Outfitters store, where Cheryl picked up some flip-flops (with living in Seattle, the weather doesn't often allow much reason to have a pair), and I got some shirts for the boys at home and new outdoor-style shorts and pants. I realized I only packed jeans and shorts, but no loose pants or sweats for activities. We got ourselves decked out in outfitter gear and joined in to that of the 'active' spa culture.

Our next step was to plan out our activity schedule for the next four days. There are always things going on, and several activities required advanced reservations. Over the course of the next several days, we went on a canyon hike, horseback ride, yoga, nordic walking, stretching, mountain bike ride and aqua circuit class. We also signed up for 'an evening with the stars' activity where we got a presentation on astronomy in the extremely vivid Utah night sky. We also much enjoyed two treatments each at the spa (I had the Desert Rain massage and the Soaring Spirit body wrap-most excellent!!). There was plenty of time for lounging at the pool or hanging in a hammock throughout the day as well.

We thoroughly enjoyed each activity, but found a curious phenomenon occurring at the start or conclusion of our activities. Most of the guides would give us an "enjoy your adventure" statement. I started to feel like we were at Disneyland with the staff forced into creating a particular illusion for the guest by having to utter a catch phrase every time. Cheryl and I took a 'Mountain Bike 101' class (it was actually the two of us and a bike guide-made it a lot more fun), in order to learn the technical side to off-roading. While the guide was driving us out to the trail, she was talking about living in the small town and working at the spa. I found her to have a somewhat cynical side and a good sense of humor, so I dared ask as we were about to start out on the trail if the employees were forced to utter the adventure statement to all guests. She started laughing and said that they were required to say it as often as possible. In order to keep them to the corporation's policy, there is the occasional 'secret shopper' sent out to evaluate how the employee treats the guests. She said that she was always getting in trouble for missing the phrase (sounded like on purpose).

I must thoroughly recommend this vacation to anyone who wants to get away to a beautiful location, no matter if they wish to remain active or relax and be pampered. When I first heard of going on a spa vacation, I was thinking we'd spend all day in bathrobes going from a facial to a massage to a pedicure for the entire vacation (not a horrible thought, I must admit). But I am now a converted believer in the 'active and healthy' spa retreat and see that we all need a place to recharge our batteries from time to time. Check it out: http://www.redmountainspa.com/

Passion

I have this on my wall at work - food for thought...

begin and begin
and begin again
begin any time
begin any where
begin any way
to begin is the thing
hold tight to your passion
the thing is to begin
begin any time
begin anywhere
anyhow

A Gym Is A Gym?

Lets talk gyms. There are some people who detest the thought of going to the same place (almost) every day, doing repititous exercises and sharing locker room space. I am one of those people who do best being a self-proclaimed 'gym rat', where I can get myself well focused on the activity I'll be doing, all while tuning others out with my personal I-Tunes selection. This is my gym experience in general. I've gone to quite a few gyms before, and to me, I was always drawn to how many cardio machines it has, what types of group classes it offers, does it have a pool & hot tub, or if it boasts the newest line of weight machines or circuit training equipment. When I started going regularly to the gym last year, I chose one across the street from my work for convenience. I figured it'd not be much different from anywhere else I've gone.

What I learned at this particular gym was a different component to the workout: socialization. I am a quiet and relatively shy person by nature, and my usual M.O. is to go to a gym workout, and leave. I would give the occasional smile or pleasant 'hi' or 'good morning', but then I would disappear into a solitary sweaty focused existance while I got through my workout. What I found at this particular gym was different. There are a group of women that come to this gym every weekday that meet before and after their workouts to talk about their lives, health, jobs, activities, or practically anything that came up in conversation in the locker room. If someone isn't there, the ladies would ask eachother where the person was, if they were ok and if there was something they could do to help (if someone needed it). I found myself looking forward to listening to the day's topic of conversation. The ladies are so passionate about certain discussions, and are so supportive and compassionate of eachother. After they finished in the locker room they'd meet in the small lounge area and chat over a cup of coffee.

I think that when I first started, the ladies were a bit wary of this quiet woman changing clothes in the corner. I'm sure they were wondering if I'd keep coming to the gym or if I'd pitter out like so many others before me. I just kept to myself for the first few months, trying to get a routine going so early in the morning. But they did notice me, and one day someone gave me a compliment that I was looking like I was loosing weight. Another lady asked if I had kids, so I brought in a few pics of the lil guy and passed them around. I felt welcomed and supported when I came to this gym every morning. I was even surprised that when I would be out for a week or two (whether it be due to illness or work-related training), the ladies would ask if I was ok. After a two week absence I even got a phone call from a woman who worked at the gym, saying people were asking about what happened to me. These ladies are so sweet and it helped me look forward to getting to the gym so early in the morning.

Unfortunately, I transferred to a new office and now go to a corporate mass-produced gym with the latest equipment and classes. I am amazed at how different it is - most people don't even make eye contact, let alone get into conversations with eachother. People are just coming to workout, then leave to begin their day. At the other gym, people began their day there, with a warm smile and friendly conversation. When it comes to health and wellness, supportive friends are an important component to your workout. People are a great motivator for other people, and socialization is not necessarily a bad thing. I wish to thank the ladies for reminding me of that fact :)

The Last Friggin 10 Pounds!!

I am now on a quest. I have been within 10 pounds of my weight loss goal for awhile now. The good news is I've been able to maintain my current weight within 6 pounds, so I feel confident that I can loose a bit when I let it creep up too high. The bad news is I'm unable to get to the magic number I've set my goal at. Questions - should I be happy at my current weight and just work on maintenence, or should I get more determined and strive to attain my goal of the last 10 pounds? To be honest, it's more of a personal thing to attain the goal I've originally set (and, as my husband can attest, I can be a bit stubborn at times-whatever). Heck, it's taken me this long to get this close, but at this point, should I let nothing deter me from getting to the golden number?

Let's talk numbers: I know that some people get so focused on what the scale says. I realize how unhealthy this can be. After all, there are height to weight ratios, body fat percentage and that weird BMI thing the internet keeps pushing to all keep into consideration when figuring out a healthy range. Looking to the scale can in some cases become an addiction, where you focus soley on the numbers and not on your overall health and fitness. What I've learned through all my weight loss ups and downs is this: there are so many components to health and wellness, you should never become so focused on one area that you get tunnel-vision to everything else that's important.

However, I have a personal goal that I will strive to accomplish. If I don't get there right away, I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I know the last 10 pounds of weight loss is a bear anyway, since by now your body is saying "enough!!" and assimilates quickly to things you're trying to do to burn calories. As with any goal you need to be focused, but be willing to refocus and change your plan of attack as needed. To my husband who has been putting up with this for a long time now, know this: I will not let this become an obsession or an addiction as I keep working toward the goal.

Oh yeah, and one more thing: I can be a bit stubborn at times ;)

Healthy Anger

“Remember, a Jedi's strength flows from the Force. But beware. Anger, fear, aggression. The dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny."
- Yoda

Yes, I know, I am letting my closet nerd peer out a bit. But, as a forever nerd of the Star Wars genre, I've always been curious about the whole dark side thing when it comes to anger. As a law enforcement officer, we're trained when we get into a life or death fight with a bad guy, you must do anything to survive. If you've been shot and see yourself bleeding out, what would motivate you more to get through it: thinking about the fact that you're dying or get pissed off about what this guy did to you? Anger can give you the edge and strength to survive.

It's mentioned that anger can be a positive in this situation because it can drive you to survive and not to give up. I've taken and taught women's self defense classes before and anger, again, can be an extremely endearing trait in a deadly situation. Anger can help you pull out that last little bit of inner strength that you have left (or didn't know you had) to fight back against the attacker and get you through it. There have been numerous stories of personal survival (lost in a snowstorm, trapped in a cave-in, etc) where a person is physically beaten down and wants to give up their life because it feels too hard to continue. But it's the anger that awakens them out of that self defeating mindset to keep fighting to live.

What about competitive anger? For those that thrive on physical competitition, think about when you're in a race, ride, etc, and you've hit that mental wall that makes you feel like you don't want to keep going? You're body is exhausted and is screaming at you to quit the insanity. For some athletes, they have to dig deep to find the determination to push their body to continue. And sometimes the determination begins as anger, with the mind telling the body "F#@! you, there is no way we are going to quit!"

A little dose of healthy anger can also help a person stand up for themselves in a situation where they feel wronged. If a person is initially too shy or polite to confront the situation, angry feelings are useful to motivate the confrontation so issues can be discussed and hopefully resolved.

The "dark side" comes into play when a person is angry a lot over practically everything (we all know someone who falls into this category), and lets their anger bottle up without letting it out in positive ways. Anger can generate bitterness, depression and pessimism, which can affect the person negatively throughout their life if they don't recognize it.

I believe anger does get a bad rap at times, and can have a useful place in our lives. But beware of the dark side of anger as well - it can consume you if you let it.

One last Yodism on the subject: “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

Wellness

It's Sunday morning and I was enjoying a nice cup of coffee and breakfast while my son watched the movie Cars for the 251st time (that's a small estimate, of course). My husband and I take turns on the weekend letting each other sleep in, and this was his morning to sleep a little later. The weather outside is rainy and windy, making it feel cozy to remain inside in pj's. When Ken gets up I finish my breakfast and get dressed. Not something I'd chose to do in my former life, but now my focus turns to going to the gym to catch a spin class and try out my first yoga class.

The spin class was an hour long and left my legs feeling exhausted. I was tempted to just go home at this point, but I've always wanted to try yoga and didn't want to miss this opportunity. Some people raise their eyebrows at yoga feeling it's too much a part of the 'New Age' movement that hit our society hard in the last decade or so. I've been interested in yoga for a few reasons: to minimize stress and help me relax through the meditation / visualization aspect, and to improve my flexibility to aid my occasional lower back (sciatic nerve) pain. In my workouts I usually focus on either cardio, ab work or strength training with weights. I've been wanting to put what I consider a 'wellness' component into my overall routine and I figured yoga would be a good step.

The class began with light meditation and listening to positive affirmations. It was very calming and helped you to 'center' yourself (sorry if I'm getting too New Age here but bear with me). We then moved to various yoga stretches and positions on our mat, all with relaxing music in the background. My flexibility was not bad and it felt great to stretch so much. The one thing I didn't expect from the routines was how much it caused you to work on your balance and core strength. I can see how, if you're working at a higher level, yoga can give you a very good toning workout.

We ended the hour-long class with a meditative visualization exercise. I had been introduced to visualization techniques through martial arts, where you train yourself to visualize images and feelings during a sustained period of meditation. The whole process is very calming and helps your body relax. I felt extremely good when the class was over and definitely want to attend this class again.

I whole-heartily believe 'wellness' is important to any one's overall health. Stress is an ugly monster that people usually are not aware of until it it too late. If you can incorporate a wellness portion into your routine, it can benefit your health so much, as well as give balance to your life. Now, not everyone needs to learn how to meditate or do yoga stretches for wellness - I believe it's different for everybody. One person's yoga is another person's 30 mile bike ride. Some people get serenity in rock climbing while others find peace in reading a book or gardening. If a person deprives their lives of wellness because they can't find the time to fit it in, they're asking for health problems and general unhappiness within an unbalanced life. Doesn't sound fun to me.

My Journey From The Couch

For as long as I can remember, I've struggled with my weight. 20-30 pounds overweight as been a norm for me since college, and it's been a growing problem (insert bad pun here, right?). A few months after I got married in late 2002, I found myself carrying the most weight of my life - I was 192 and 5'4" - not a good combination. I was working as a police officer, and I hated the way I looked in a uniform, not to mention GOOD LUCK if I ever had to get into a foot chase or fight anyone during an arrest. The point where I hit bottom was a day I was checking out a patrol car at the beginning of the shift, bent down to pick something up, and my uniform pants split. Luckily no one else saw this, so I quickly went to the locker room to change to a new pair of pants. I think my self esteem dropped about ten points that day. It was time to take a very real look at myself - I was not physically active, ate poorly and didn't care about being healthy. I needed to do more than just lose a few pounds - I needed to make a lifestyle change.

That day I called Jenny Craig, because I knew I needed to get in-person help in changing my eating habits and developing better food and exercise habits. I committed to the program and lost 40 lbs over the next year. I'll admit, I got lazy about eating here and there, and wasn't always committed to continual exercise, so I didn't lose as much as I wanted. At least my health was improving and I definitely was noticing a looser uniform. But I wasn't as active as I still hoped to be, and suffered from regular migraine headaches which affected my work and personal life. The migraines kept me reliant on prescription medication and gave me the occasional trip to the ER when the migraine would get totally out of control.

In 2005 I gave birth to my son, Jake. Afterward, I gained a bit back and found myself up to 164 due to a lack of exercise and a bad snacking habit. Yoyoing weight was a norm for me at that point. Something I learned from all this was you can't half-ass things if you want to accomplish a serious weight loss and maintain that loss.

In early 2007 I was finally ready to do this right. I went to Jenny Craig with a vengence. On top of adhering to a 1200 calorie per day diet, I surprised myself by getting up at 4am to get to a 5:15am spin class at the gym across the street from my work. This is a 45 minute class meeting 3 times a week. The thing I did different this time was I allowed myself no excuses to not work out, by getting my workouts done early (I'm typically not motivated for after-work workouts) and showering at the gym. I found that when I worked out regulary, I had a tendency to want to eat better. I also don't feel as good when I miss regular workouts.

I stuck to it and am now 5 pounds from my final goal (125). Since my heaviest weight in 2002, I've lost 62 pounds and have learned to maintain my weight within the 130's for over 6 months. And the best thing, I learned that a regular cardio program helps prevent my migraines - I've been off the prescription meds for over a year and only had one ER migraine, and that was after I took a little over a month off of my workouts when I had bronchitis.

I look at diet and exercise so differently now. My weight doesn't not limit me anymore. I always had interests in mountain biking, kyacking and martial arts, but I had never been in good enough physical shape to enjoy them. Now I can engage in so much more without fear of not having the physical ability or stamina to last through the activity. One of my long-term goals is to be at the best shape of my life when I turn 40, and that includes living an active healthy lifestyle with my family. My advice to anyone wishing to lose weight and keep it off:

- If you want to lose weight once and for all, really commit to it mind, body and soul. Losing weight not only requires physical work, but also requires a psychological commitment to stay with it.
- Don't allow yourself any excuses to eat poorly or not work out. It's too easy to let yourself quit by saying "I'm skipping the gym today because I'm too busy", etc. When you want to skip a workout with an excuse, ask yourself if a serious athleate would accept that excuse or shake their head at you in disgust.
- Stay away from the fat burner pills and fad diets (yes, Mr. Atkins, that means you). There are thousands of weight loss products and programs out there, but not all of them are made for long term use or creating good healthy habits. THE BEST WAY for weight loss is proper diet and exercise, period! It's so important to make habits out of proper eating and exercise, so you can maintain your healthy weight throughout your life.
- Find your triggers for what makes you eat poorly and not want to be active. Depression, stress or even boredom are common. Also, for me, if I have one bad day where I pull out the stops and eat poorly, I find that I will continue to crave those foods and want to snack for days afterwards. If you have a bad eating day, make sure the next day you get back on track.

So folks, if I can do it you can do it. Anything is possible at any age, so no more excuses!